I would think after two in half years I would be over my car accident. I guess at the end of the day you are never really over something that affected you so tragically. Certain experiences will affect your actions in the future. We can always learn and improve those actions. On Tuesday the 25th I had to do a briefing regarding my car accident. I had explain every single detail from the beginning to end. Going backwards and remembering how I felt when I almost died really puts life at a different perspective. Knowing I had to remind myself just how it made me feel all over again really affected me emotionally and mentally.
I had to relearn who I was all over again. I felt lost, misplaced, and depressed for months. A careless person t-boning my car and I flipped over three times. I was still able to get out the car with no scratches but a bruise on my side. My back was sore, my neck was out of whack and had one hip higher then the other. I was still able to walk away from this accident with my head up high and say, “Thank you Jesus for giving me another chance.”
Tuesday brought me back to how I felt the night of January 18th feeling numb, disconnected, and depressed from the world. In 2019 it took me an entire year to relearn myself all over again. It was the most hardest thing I ever had to do. I felt pain, unmotivated, and not sure of myself. I would question myself, "Why am I still here? Why am I still alive?" I had to relearn to value myself unconditionally all over again. I had to acknowledge all good and bad parts of myself, so I can make improvements. I struggled with self acceptance because I can be very critical about myself. By learning my struggles I was able to find my motivation, acceptance, confidence, passion and to being myself again. I was questioning my circumstance rather than excepting my circumstance. I may not be the same person from that night but I am a better person. Learning to accept myself all over again was the hardest thing I ever had to.
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